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01 June 2009 @ 07:40 pm
It's been awhile since I used LJ frequently but I am enjoying the fact that I have a new one. We'll leave that alone, ha.

Anyways. I figured I would introduce myself.

My names Lianna, but everyone knows me as Liann or Lia mostly. I am 28 years old and a mother of 3. (9g,7g,6b). I just came out of a 10 year marriage to a biological male last September we had 'mutually seporated', I left and moved back to my home state (and town) with my now bf, 27 year old FTM Jaeden. I had identified as bisexual from the time I was 18 years old (shortly after marrying and moving out of my parents home). I have always been attracted to women, but hadn't had any experience with them til I was 25. It was short, not so sweet, and it made me even more aching to be near a woman, and pulled me futher away from my then husband, who is still legally... but GOD I cannot wait to lose his name and that marriage licence.

JD and I have been together roughly since 8.8.08, that's what we say, even though it was the day we first started talking on OKcupid.com. We knew there was way more between us then before even meeting face to face. Let me just tell you, this bond we have blows me away. I had always known there was a deeper meaning inside of me that was doused by 11 years with a man who nearly suffocated my identity and created a shell of nearly overly emotional consumption. That reality that my ex wasn't who I was meant to be with came crashing like a freight train, the day I met JD. who at the time Identified as a lesbian from the time he was 14 years old, and had practically all his life been attracted to women from early on.

JD hid from family and friends who he really was because he was afraid of being rejected. Well after nearly 4 months of being 'together', he'd admitted to me through text after a heated night (not in a bad way *wg*) that he had wanted to feel so much more with me, and 'knew' what he could do to have that. Maybe not entirely in medical sense, but I'm sure those of you who have been with a Transman understand where I'm coming from.

Anyways. I am in the center of a bitter, annoying, emotionally breaking divorce battle with my ex who is threatening to take my babies from me. There's way too much to put into an intro, but let's just say I have succumb to changing our numbers and reverting back to smoking after quitting 4 months ago because I have been so shaken up by his threats.

JD is my best friend, and the only reason I survived a severe depression that I had sunken into before I met him. I would give everything to give him what will make him feel comfortable and in the skin he deserves to be in after hiding for so long from people he couldn't trust would accept him for who he was.

Anyways. I am longwinded and tend to go off on subject topics that I start on to begin with. HA. I am looking for women who can be my adversaries in this journey that my baby and I will be going through, to know someone else has felt how I feel, and I am dying to see his changes. :)
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
01 June 2009 @ 01:27 pm
The user info said that an intro is necessary on joining, so here's mine.

I'm 25, my boyfriend is 29 (30 in a month, I plan on making him watch Logan's Run the night before). We've been together for nearly 6 years. I've always discussed my childhood where my family treated me as a boy as much as possibly (until puberty) but only came to the decision to re-examine that part of myself less than 2 years ago. I'm pre-everything. My boyfriend signed up for a girlfriend (he's straight) but has actually been very supportive. He's a craftsman who deals with lots of different materials and he's been so supportive as to offer to help me make anything I need in order to feel more myself.

Privately we're readdressing our relationship and I think the idea of my transition is also his, is very true for us. He's getting there but is still struggling with all this as much as I am.

I am poly and also have a girlfriend who's LD. She also tries to be supportive but knows less due to the not living together day to day. I'm no longer sure at all of how I describe my sexuality, but I am not for the foreseeable future interested in any other relationships so I don't think it really matters and I'm not dwelling on it.

So there you have it, my intro. Wasn't sure what to say, I hope this is okay.


IN OTHER WORDS PRESENTS: A benefit for Gender (Free) For All!

WHEN: Friday, June 26, 2009. Door at 7, Show at 8
WHERE: In Other Words Bookstore, 8 NE Killingsworth St., Portland, OR
COST: $5-20 sliding scale, costumes encouraged

DetailsCollapse )

Please feel free to delete this post if it is in violation of this groups posting policies.
15 May 2009 @ 10:13 am
Jamison Green the former President of FTMInternational is interested in the sexual health and satisfaction of all trans men, whether or not they have had hormones or surgery, and in the experiences of their partners. Two surveys are available for trans men and their partners to help with the research. He will use the data as raw material for a book, tentatively entitled "The FTM Guide to SEX," plus academic presentations and journal articles to educate medical and therapeutic service providers about trans lives.
13 April 2009 @ 03:25 pm

Well my name is Reid and I'm pre-T and pre-op and my partner Chris is currently on T and also pre-op. We've been together for quite a while now and before me he was with a woman named Samantha. Anyways, we had been friends for quite a while the three of us, then suddenly one day me and Chris just clicked and he explained to me that he had been unhappy with Sam for quite a long time now and he had been in denial about his homosexuality for quite a long time. I've always been a big ol' queen so I was just ecstatic having been crushing on this guy for quite a long time. We dated after they broke up for a while then we decided to be exclusive.

Now a days we're doing great but every once in a while he'll get a little bit frustrated and so forth since now he is with a man of sorts but he's sometimes curious about bio-men. I haven't really told him that I have a few fears about his curiosity because I don't really know how to get the ball rolling and have it be just a nice calm conversation without him feeling like he needs to justify himself or get defensive. I'm not at all angry with him or hurt by him because he's curious about bio-guys apposed to me because obviously that's just what's going on in his head and I can't control that nor would I want to. But I don't know how to talk to him about it because it's a little bit of a difficult subject, ya know?

How would any of you approach this?

Thank you,

10 April 2009 @ 07:16 pm
ok im a 18years old FTM and i go to high school and its my last year......well anyway ok well i started going to this school last year and my frist day theses twins were getting in to the school and i just fell for the one twin i will call her L anyway her twin sister is in my class and im really good friends with her i will call her A. well A knows im a FTM and has no prob with it and her sister i think knows and there really cool but the rest of my school ....i mean the students think i was born bio male and have now clue and i have been on T sence Aug 25 2008 and i really like L and we also became very close friends aswell and i really like L i want to ask her out but the prob is that they are the most popular girls in school and all the otherGuys like her and i dont think theres any other FTMs in my school i dont know many either there younger or alot older and they dont know what * kids theses day do or how they ask them out*  the other guys in my school have fell for her and if i do date some one in my school how do i tell them im a FTM because i want to be seen as male there not female and my school most of the kids are like you are diffrent EWW GROSS GET AWAY like they can catch it. what do i do?
how can i get a GF when nobody knows im a FTM and i know L's parents will most likely take her out of the school if they find out were dating. i also dont want it to slip out and for her or anyone i date at school to ger called names or anyhting like that.

so my my qustions are

how do i tell her i like her without lossing our friendship?
how can i date someone and let them know im a FTM with out anyone else finding out ?
if they do find out what do i do because i want to be seen as male not female ?
should i tell the parents of the people i date?
what do i do if people find out and they call her names?

also how do i get people to like me for me but not my body parts?
what if she sees me as female and tells her friends i like her and they talk and it slips out?
or do i have to tell the person i date im a FTM?

please help me and thank you very much and thanks for listening

latter, coleman

ps how do i tell her im on T?
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: scaredscared
19 November 2008 @ 07:25 pm
So heres the thing. How am I supposed to explain to my 8 year old brother that I am now his brother, when he is also confused about His own genderCollapse )
Current Music: team dresch
08 November 2008 @ 08:21 pm

I haven't seen this posted anywhere on my LJ f-list...so I thought I'd share. If you've already seen it...sorry.

Stu Rasmussen is transgender and was elected mayor of Silverton, Oregon.

Here's a link to his website (I think I'm using the right pronoun...) Stu Rasmussen

What I think is the coolest part of this is that he's now mayor of a small town...not a big city.

x-posted here and there...sorry if you see it more than once.
Current Location: Louisville, KY
Current Mood: impressedimpressed
06 November 2008 @ 10:28 am
Ok so I used to be a member of this community a long time ago when I was dating my first partner that was FTM. We've long since broken up and I have had other relationships with men and women. As of the past 7 months I have been living my life as a straight woman. Recently I came forward about this with my friends and family in my hometown. At times it has been really hard for people to except me as a straight woman and it's making life slightly difficult. I used to be a lesbian that dated men in between all the fucked up girls I dated, but I always knew I really liked men. I guess in a reverse weird way I felt like a trader, like a liar if I wasn't really a lesbian. I had been out since I was 12 so most people know me as a lesbian. Anyways that's the back story.

My issue right now is that I have been interested in a man that is FTM for the past month or so. I have known him for years and even had a crush on him since I can remember. Even in our past life (as I like to say...since we both were lesbians and aren't now...it kinda makes me giggle.) I liked him. When I moved back to town about 2 months ago now I ran into him while out at a bar. I immediately was struck by one how drunk he was and two how absolutely handsome he had become over the years. So obviously I made it my goal to hang out with him and ever since I have been fawning over him like a school girl. We are not dating currently, although I won't lie I really wish we were but the timing is just completely shitty so I've currently settled on being friends with him and imagining the day when life is easier.

The issue lies here, I am scared that he doesn't believe that I truely like him for him. Like I am scared he thinks that I like him because he is trans and I used to be into girls. I am also scared that although I say I want to date men that somehow if I was to date a FTM man that people who knew wouldn't take my heterosexual lifestyle seriously. I don't want to continue living life as a queer woman. I want to have my life be heterosexual/straight. For me personally it has never been hard to just understand FTM and understand that you are a guy, because in my eyes no matter what, you were never really a girl anyway. People change their bodies for a million and one different reason to match how they feel on the inside and I am no different so to me how could I ever say you really were a girl or otherwise. So I guess I just came here searching for awnsers, searching for something to comfort my feelings....everything in between.

Also do you think I should say something to this man I like about this or just leave it alone? I never talk about how he is trans, I've never addressed it, haven't needed to. I mean he has said that he is scared of me because he always gets hurt because of how he is, he said talked about trans movies with me and he has slightly mentioned that he likes that I already knew and it wasn't an issue that had to be covered. But nothing further than that. I only ask this as a way to get closer to him, not in a let's have a huge disscusion about it, just in a way for him to know if he is thinking this is a wall laying between us that I want to break it down. I really like him and honestly anything I could do to show him this in the least creepy, obsessive, pycho way possible is what I am going for here. I just feel like somehow he is (not perfect) but pretty perfect for me, like a good fit into what I want life to be.

Also last but not least, during my summer away I built a lot of strong friendships with straight women and I really miss those. Here at home most of my friends are gay. I really want to create a new life for myself that includes mostly straight people. I am in no way saying I want to loose any of my friends, that's why they are called friends...but some sort of life that actually emcompassed the things I like and people who like what I like would be nice. Any ideas on making new friends without having to meet people in a bar/club? I mean I would really like girls in my life that were girlie like me and etc...

31 October 2008 @ 12:17 pm
I'm actually wondering that same thing. I don't know if I'll ever tell my family (I'm from the South.. which needs no explanation) I'm also in a sorority, which makes even explaining it to friends a little trying. They just don't understand.